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Starked SF, Unforgiving News from the Bay

Archive for January 2008

January 31st, 2008

Top Al Qaeda Leader Killed in Exploding Penis Enlarger Incident

Notorious Al Qaeda goon Abu Laith al-Libi (”just call me Al”) has been terminated with extreme prejudice by a CIA team.
Rumor has it that both American agencies and terrorist groups have been seeking to execute al-Libi after he failed to kill vice president Dick Cheney in a bombing last year at Bagram Air Base.
Official details […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

January 31st, 2008

Fed Cuts Rates, Offers Cash Beer Money

When the Federal Reserve Bank decided to add liquidity to funds markets for the second time in a week, it took a bold step forward to include John Q. Public as well as Wall Street in plans to make capital available to those who need it most.
In addition to the cut in the federal funds […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

January 30th, 2008

Il Douche’s Clandestine Bay Area Visit

In keeping with his policy of avoiding locations where large numbers of people will severely question his leadership skills, President Bush sneaked into the Bay Area Wednesday via SFO.
Then he immediately turned tail and headed south to Hillsborough, the Beverly Hills of Silicon Valley. The president visited H-bo to attend a republiscum national […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

January 27th, 2008

Linker Barn: Monday, January 28

Florida D-bag senators on voter turnout. Uh huh.
The story on the Craigslist hitman ad.
Hurry up: Kucinich to introduce Bush impeachment in time for State of the Union.
Yale lecturer says dump the prozac and deal.
Ted Kennedy to endorse Obama.
Shocking nudity in South African advertising.
Get primed for Super Bowel (right) Sunday: Healthbolt’s collection of strange exercise […]

By Paul -- 1 comment

January 26th, 2008

Supervisor Ed Jew: Help Me, Mr. Wizard!

Former San Francisco supervisor and bungling shakedown artist Ed Jew has moved to have federal fraud charges against him dropped.
Aside from lying about his residence to qualify to run for Supervisor, Jew is accused of taking $84,000 in cash while shaking down businessmen trying to open pudding franchises.
(See StarkedSF’s FBI Avoidance Tips for Ed Jew.)
The […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

January 26th, 2008

Monthly Shakira Adulation: Brief Respite from Gadflying

Once again, I’m going against my normally misanthropic grain to placate the hordes of Shakira fans who continue to visit this site.
To quote a line of unknown provenance, I generally don’t put women on a pedestal except to look up their dresses, but I’d actually be ashamed to ogle the much- loved worshipped Shakira, who […]

By Paul -- 4 comments

January 24th, 2008

Linker Barn: Friday, January 25

Mega fraud: Soc-Gen trader racks $7 billion in rogue trading losses.
Cal Supreme court rules medicinal marijuana use grounds for firing.
Romney the ill-will champ to date?
Five-year-old testifies in Fremont murder case.
Engineered mosquitoes to wipe out Dengue fever?
Suicide Girls: Democrats still sucking sphincter.
Fox takes a post-mortem dump on Heath Ledger.
S.F. Weekly’s Katy Sinclair on weight loss surgery.
Books: […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

January 23rd, 2008

Barry Bonds: Strike Four!

Former baseball great and current illegal drug use role model Barry Bonds has asked a federal court in San Francisco to dismiss criminal charges involving allegations that Bonds lied to a grand jury about his steroid use.
The pleadings claim that “Some portions of the indictment are so vague that it is simply impossible to be […]

By Paul -- 1 comment

January 23rd, 2008

Liars Incorporated: George Bush & Co.

For some infuriating reading, take a look at this study on lying by the Bush administration.
The study claims Bush and his cronies lied over 900 times to the public in a two-year period after 9/11, during which time the administration sought to terrify the public with lies claiming that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

January 20th, 2008

$800 in Bush Bucks Comin At Ya: Spend it Wisely, Patriots

If the U.S. government learned anything from the much-ridiculed government welfare cheese giveaway of the 1980s, it’s that Saturday Night Live has nothing on our leaders when it comes to conjuring up ludicrous, unbelievable plans to bolster the common weal.
And maybe one other thing, namely that corporations will make more money if you cluster bomb […]

By Paul -- 1 comment