Boozing & Losing: S.F. Sports Theme Drinks
These days the sports community of the San Francisco Bay Area is on a collective losing streak suggestive of a diabolically-crafted curse or perhaps having offended the honor of a Shaolin temple.
Whatever the cause, in the area of professional sports the current San Francisco Treat is . . . . failure.
Drink deep and taste the losing with these new draughts of defeat:
The Barry Bonds Ball Buster (aka the B4): Mickey Big Mouth infused with anabolic steroids, served through intracranial injection. The B4 turns run-of-the-mill boozers into super-alkies who can lift a keg with one hand–until health effects cause testicular implosion and organ failure. Served in an asterisk-shaped chalice.
Rob Ryan’s Bearded Lady: The Raider’s hirsute defense coach is behind this concoction of methanol, estrogen, and absinthe. Served with a sprig of Ryan’s beard and in the same proportions the mixture is evidently given to the Raider’s line. Odds of keeping the drink about the same as the Raider’s current win/loss record, currently 2-7.
The Backdoor: Inspired by the NBA’s treatment of the Warriors, the Backdoor is one part Kahlua, one part creme de cacao, ten parts castor oil, and a spritz of Don Nelson’’s life blood. Served in an ornamental cob.
The Big 18: A tall, foaming 18″ of Olde English 800, a 1/2 yard sized in inches to commemorate the number of games the A’s are out of first place. Many bars are pricing taller glasses.
The 333: Named for AT&T Park’s “view reserve outfield section” section 333, the most distant section from home plate in the Giant’s stadium. Technically in the State of Nevada, this wasteland section is so far from the action that the team is thinking of leasing the area to oil drillers. The drink is a mixture of anti-freeze, coffee, and liquid jerky, blended to help spectators stranded in section 333 to survive until spring. Like the section itself, the cocktail is presented in a concrete box that’s only 4% full.
Neon drink image from here.
3 opinions for Boozing & Losing: S.F. Sports Theme Drinks
Bonds to Bunt in Court?
Dec 7, 2007 at 10:19 am
[…] alcoholic concoctions: As detailed previously here in Boozing and Losing, Bonds could readily attach his name to any number of potent cocktails designed to quell the agony […]
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Feb 14, 2008 at 9:05 pm
[…] enough to drive a person to drink–so don’t forget to review StarkedSF’s Bay Area sports theme drinks. Drown your sorrows faster than Ted Kennedy can drown a staff […]
Global Drinks: San Francisco Swill
May 10, 2008 at 11:52 am
[…] those of you driven to drink by tragedy in Bay Area sports venues, take solace in StarkedSF’s Boozing and Losing post, replete with drinks designed to drown your sorrow […]
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