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Starked SF, Unforgiving News from the Bay

Archive for the ‘sex’ Category

June 26th, 2008

The Brothel Bus: An Immodest Proposal to Turn MUNI Into Money

Yesterday’s news on Miami’s “brothel bus” really got me thinking–how did Florida get so far ahead of us?
Let’s face it–San Francisco and California could really use the tax revenues, as I’ve argued at length in my still unfolding plans to prostitutionalize Alacatraz Island.
In spite of its unpopularity with law enforcement agencies, Miami’s brothel bus is […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

June 14th, 2008

The San Francisco Treat: Legal Prostitution on Alcatraz

The first big question about the big sexual experience zone on Alcatraz involves basic design. In other words, what the hell should the damned thing look like?
Unfortunately, this poses a bit of a dilemma, since there are two architectural symbols that both would seem to represent the ultimate in debauchery: the White House and […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

June 10th, 2008

Bay Area Babylon: Let Whoredom Reign on Alcatraz Island

Much as I hate to apologize, I feel compelled to make amends for my post suggesting that San Francisco erect a whorehouse on Alcatraz island.
I seem to have lost my mandate and failed to elucidate the concept fully.
The term ‘whorehouse’ is completely insufficient to the task. After all, we’re competing with Amsterdam here, for […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

March 19th, 2008

Gay Travel Ads: You Can Take It With You

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By Paul -- 0 comments

March 13th, 2008

Soap-On-A-Rope Report: Girls Gone Wild Founder Pleads No Contest

If it weren’t for the geographical distances imposed by jurisdictional separation, Eliot Spitzer entering the court house might run into Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis leaving, now that the notorious boob merchant has pled no contest to one count of felony child abuse and two counts of misdemeanor prostitution.
Francis was sentenced to year of […]

By Paul -- 1 comment

February 16th, 2008

More San Francisco Treat: Bernie Ward Swaps Kiddie Porn with Sexyfairy2005

It’s enough to make you wonder if liberal talk show host Bernie Ward is a closet Reupblican: the priesthood dropout is the target of federal child pornography charges.
Apparently Ward got turned in by his own online dominatrix, Sexyfairy2005, who received kiddie porn pics from Ward.
Ward was indicted last September, at which point KGO Radio […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

February 15th, 2008

St. Valentines: The Morning After

Can’t remember if you enjoyed your Valentine Day’s Eve?
Here are some tipoffs that indicate you did:

You wake up with a pocketful of IPA coasters and a mouthful of someone else’s underwear. (Note: if it’s your own underwear, for God’s sake stay home next year.)
You’ve got 14 voice mails and twice as many e-mails praising […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

September 10th, 2007

Celebrity Slapdown: Shakira vs. Hilton & Spears

Why do people love Shakira but love to hate Paris Hilton?
This is not the type of question I generally dwell on, but I guess I have to because people just can’t seem to stop commenting on another version of this (right) photo I flung up months ago.
And the comments are all positive.
On the other hand, […]

By Paul -- 4 comments

August 9th, 2007

Republiscum Glenn Murphy Has a New Name: Prison Bitch

After being outed, National Young Republicans president Glenn Murphy admits he slurped a pleasure pole–but hey, he didn’t inhale!
Yesterday’s ode to Soap-on-a-Rope led to the discovery of this wonderful Prison Bitch Name Generator, and now the generator seems even more timely.
Use it to generate your own post-conviction appellation, or crank out some handles for […]

By Paul -- 2 comments

June 16th, 2007

Father’s Day Fantasy: Hummer, Rolex . . . .

Just a reminder from all you Hallmark housewives out there buying cards, flowers, ties, and a bunch of other crap we don’t need or want: save your money.
The good news is that what we really want is free. The bad news is that you hate doing it.
Seriously, there are things we want that cost […]

By Paul -- 0 comments

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