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In response to those alleging that I’ve lost my sense of humor . . . . well, uh, . . . here’s some of StarkedSF’s most upbeat fake news items, to be found in their entirety in the TNT category.
Satan Joins Wilson Sonsini as Junior Partner
AOL marketing teams up with Jehovah’s Witnesses
Hijackers Brutally Beaten on […]
Just a day after protesters climbed 150 feet up the Golden Gate Bridge to protest China’s hosting of the Olympics, another group has set out to visit China bearing what they call “the Olympic Douche.”
Ignatius Reilly, a spokesman for a group known as Frotters for a Free Tibet, said he and several comrades are using […]
Shortly after President Bush described the maelstrom of violence in Iraq as a “defining moment in the history of a free Iraq,” The Walt Disney Company announced plans to hire the president as a consultant on a series of quasi-historical animated features.
Disney’s uplifting interpretations of history include creating a happy ending for the cruelly abused […]
Lately it’s been hard to put together TNT (Tomorrow’s News Today) news satires, simply because much of the real news has been so skewed that it essentially comes pre-mocked.
So there’s no time like the present for a retrospective of my fake news items from the past, such as:
Detroit Passengers Brutalize Hijackers.
Satan Joins Wilson Sonsini as […]
In a shocking revelation designed to quash allegations of a romantic involvement with lobbyist Vicki Iseman, presidential hopeful John McCain disclosed that he had his penis surgically removed at the onset of the campaign.
McCain joins many other celebrities and public figures who decided that it’s better to undergo castration rather than risk problems with allegations […]
Notorious Al Qaeda goon Abu Laith al-Libi (”just call me Al”) has been terminated with extreme prejudice by a CIA team.
Rumor has it that both American agencies and terrorist groups have been seeking to execute al-Libi after he failed to kill vice president Dick Cheney in a bombing last year at Bagram Air Base.
Official details […]
When the Federal Reserve Bank decided to add liquidity to funds markets for the second time in a week, it took a bold step forward to include John Q. Public as well as Wall Street in plans to make capital available to those who need it most.
In addition to the cut in the federal funds […]
Get ready for Survivor: Election 2008, the new presidential election-themed Survivor show soon to hit the screen soon.
Encouraged by recent jousting between candidates Obama and Clinton, producers decided to capitalize on the ferocity of the political hopefuls in a shocking new show. The duration of the series will depend on who wins–and how.
Obama and […]
As part of his aggressive plan of action to mitigate California’s multi-billion dollar budget deficit, Governor Schwarzenegger is using the National Guard to seize first born children and remove the left testicle of adult men and post-operative male transsexuals.
Schwarzenegger told the press that new problems call for bold solutions, and that he is responding to […]
Continued from Part III.
The terrifying white riots continue in the nation’s capital, where the electorate continues to endure violent debauchery some have compared to The Terror following the French Revolution.
Even as Senator Frist’s banjo version of Stairway to Heaven calmed the rioters in one location, ghastly governmental debauchery ruled the day–or rather early morning–in a […]
Written by Paul Springer for b5media.
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