Starked SF, Unforgiving News from the Bay

FrankenCeleb: The Ultimate Halloween Whorror

by Paul on October 30th, 2007

Every year horror movie producers invest millions of dollars in effects to make frightening monsters.

But there’s an easier, cheaper way to assemble a hair-raising, bloodthirsty monstrosity. All you need is a needle, some 50 lb. monofilament, and these revolting celebrity components:

• The phallus-immolating fire crotch of Lindsay Lohan.

• The eye-melting skein of veins from Ted Kennedy’s nose (topographic map available from NASA).

• The demonic grin of Tom Cruise.

• The empty, soulless eyes of Clay Aiken.

• The rotten cotton candy hair of Don King.

• The filthy, wandering hands of Larry Craig.

• The graveyard stench of Britney Spears’ nether regions.
• The ghastly pallor and spectral cellulite of Kelly Osbourne.
• The braying beelzebub laugh of Hillary Clinton.
• The mind of Mencia.

• The conscience of George Bush.

Terrifying yes, but cheap. The parts are mostly surplus at this point.

Lohan image from here.

Fred Ochoa Bat lady image from here.

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POSTED IN: humor