Larry Craig’s Quest for Unpopularity: What’s Next for the Michael Myers of Politics?
It seemed for a moment last week that très gay Senator Larry Craig couldn’t do anything to make himself for of a laughing stock than denying his sexual identity and then doing a 180 on his threat to quit his job.
Then he decided he wanted a “do-over” on his guilty plea in the bathroom sex case.
Then he made a pronouncement about how great the occupation of Iraq is going.
Yet Craig is still with us. He’s the Michael Myers of politics–he can’t be killed. Except perhaps by further insane statements of his own device. What could Craig do to finish himself off and reduce himself to a spectacle so protoplasmically insignificant that even the media will have to ignore him? Some suggestions:
- Throw on a kilt and do a free range underwear duet with Britney Spears at the next Arby’s opening.
- Engage in a public whining contest with Kanye West.
- Take a lesson from San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and publicly demand that all government employees resign immediately, then try to convince the world he’s straight by claiming he banged a woman who was in rehab and can’t remember anything since 2005.
- Take over Michael Vick’s dog fighting operation and bus in loads of kids who think they’re going on a field trip to a teddy bear factory.
- Just keep saying it: “I’m not gay . . . I’m not gay . . . I’m gay whoops . . . I’m not gay . . . I’m not gay . . . . I’m . . . not . . . . anything.
Myers image from here.
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POSTED IN: humor, political scandal, stupidity
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