Lohan the Victim of Zombie Bot Attack?
The supreme idiocy of Lindsay Lohan’s post-pixie dust bust e-email denials has led many to suspect that the former star is under the control of some nefarious and anonymous power, like a botnet hacker.
The vacuity of the now highly-publicized e-mails indicates a clear absence of rationcinative material in Lohan’s cranium. While this may always have been the case, is it not possible that some diabolical hackmaster figured a way to turn Lohan into a zombie programmed to do the will of others?
Why not. If possible, the despicable neural hacking could explain the mindless behavior of any number of other public figures who seem to have been turned into walking spam: the melted-down Britney Spears, seemingly undead singer Mindy McCready, the taffy heads behind the Caveman series, pretty much anyone in or near the White House, and the person who shut down 365 Main by dousing himself with Bacardi 151 and setting himself on fire.
Just think about for a while, and it will all start to make sense . . . .
Top photo from Toronto’s Annual Zombie Walk.
Bottom photo from mentalfloss.
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