Patricia Dunn, Jerry Springer new Bush Picks
President Bush was delighted to announce the addition of a new member to the Homeland Security Department’s Office of Pretextual Investigation: former Hewlett Packard boss Patricia Dunn.
“Ms. Dunn will have to play catch-up in the personal espionage department, but her heart’s in the right place and we welcome her to the fold,” the President gushed.
Bush also replaced UN representative John Bolton with television personality Jerry Springer, whose peacekeeping abilities are univerally acknowledged as vastly superior to Bolton’s.
In a first-ever development, the President apologized for the first appointment. “I thought I was appointing Michael Bolton.”
Springer has already begun the process of replacing the UN’s upholstered seats with folding chairs.
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