Semel Builds Temple of Doom: TNT Special*
After making a variety of comments about his sincere desire to boost Yahoo’s earnings, CEO Terry Semel revealed plans for an enormous temple where he will sacrifice underperforming employees and homeless in order to propitiate the gods.
The glass-skinned corporate sacrifice center will be designed by Frank Gehry, who was eager to take on one of the few projects around worthy of his greatness. “Not a single drop of a celebrant’s blood shall be missed by the great ones above,” said Gehry in a moment of relative sobriety.
Semel is eager to get started on his regimen of earnings worship, and the ritual slaughter must begin well before the start of the next quarter. Bechtel foremen are already flogging teams of administrative personnel excavating the underground blood caverns even as we speak, and hundreds of Yahoo employees are volunteering to perish in return for full medical for their surviving families.
Meanwhile, cannibal Larry Ellison and human sacrifice enthusiast Jonathan Schwartz have vowed to build their own bigger and better temples as soon as they can get the requisite permits from the county.
*TNT = Tomorrow’s News Today
4 opinions for Semel Builds Temple of Doom: TNT Special*
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Jun 10, 2007 at 4:23 pm
[…] is blond bimbo, the other a high-tech executive rumored to engage in human sacrifice–and they’re both […]
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Sep 3, 2007 at 12:25 pm
[…] Yahoo’s Semel Builds Temple of Doom. […]
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Oct 27, 2007 at 10:32 am
[…] Semel: Damn: I slipped on the fake blood in that Temple of Doom […]
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Jan 13, 2008 at 1:06 pm
[…] a hint Silicon Valley leaders like Terry Semel and his Temple of Doom, Schwarzenegger also plans to institute a forward-looking program of human sacrifice. The governor […]
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